What is a gender doula?
Whether it’s births, deaths, moves, or relationship changes, transitions are challenging but potent times. Gender-related transitions are no exception. Due to social stigma and lack of resources, transgender and queer people often go through their transition(s) confused, isolated, and alone. Others feel frozen by feelings of fear and overwhelm, and struggle to live in alignment with their desires, values, and identity. As a gender doula I am an emotional and spiritual caregiver as your gender exploration unfolds. I hold space for you to process difficult feelings and experiences, and I reflect back what I hear as your truths.
The word gender contains infinite meanings, and so with nonjudgmental curiosity I get to know you in your own language and on your terms. Moreover, because gender impacts every aspect of life, no topic is out-of-bounds. I ask questions that guide you towards greater self clarity and appreciation. When appropriate, I send offerings for you to continue your exploration in between sessions, such as writing prompts, movement exercises, ritual how-tos, and reading material. Though sessions are always serious and often heavy, I invite in ample playfulness and joy that helps nurture and sustain our work together.
Who should see a gender doula?
As your gender doula I meet you where you are at in your gender exploration. You don’t have to be transgender or gender nonconforming to receive support from a gender doula. Everyone has a relationship to gender, and many people at some point in their life will encounter a situation that makes them question their gender identity and expression.
You may find it meaningful to work with me if you:
- are questioning your gender identity for the first (or fifteenth!) time
- are strategizing how to talk to your family, friends, or coworkers about your gender or sexuality
- struggle to bring harmony between your public and private identities
- want to explore different gender dynamics in your sexual life
- are considering or pursuing hormone replacement therapies or gender affirmation surgeries
- are the parent or guardian of a transgender or gender nonconforming young person, and feel confused or unsure of how best to support them
- feel stuck and uninspired by your current gender
- experience grief, shame, confusion, anger, or other strong emotions and are unsure how to process them
- have experienced spiritual trauma or abuse
- seek ways to deepen your spiritual connection to your self, your communities, and the sacred
- are curious and feel in your gut that it may right for you!
Kam holds vast space and tethers me with loving inquiries. they witness my expanse and rising with a soft width that honors complexity & nuance. the vastness of their witnessing n reflection is what allows me to bring all the pieces of my self to the table. the first space i’ve felt there’s enuf room to unpack all the everything that gender is to me.
— lou